How Sad
Saturday, June 17, 2006
It's so distressing. Paul has updated and deleted EVERYTHING. Ah well. There is no proof any of that happened... which I guess was exactly why I made this blog. Here are Paul's updates.Oh man... That was hard...
Okay, readers of this Xanga, I should be back to normal and be myself again now that this crap is over. I'd like to apologize for some of those outbursts on our members. I was very nervous and pissed, and I was pissed because I was nervous. There's no excuse. I realize that.
Telling Lizzi about this thing with Jessie was hard. I didn't know how I was going to approach it. I'm glad she said something before I did because I would have hated ruining her day. I'm really glad she was pissed at me. And for the first time I realized why the Bible does not condemn anger, but it does condemn sinning in one's anger. (That being said, I haven't been setting a really good example, now have I? Please don't look to me for examples of Christianity because I'm just a kid, okay? I'm not mature enough. Don't look to me for stuff like that.) Yeah, and telling of someone who I had once said had been "like a sister to me" was hard. I was so nervous because I thought that maybe Lizzi would like leave me or something. I don't know...
Anyone who wants to contact me again should e-mail me. I only ask that you don't bring me into any of your drama, so NO SUICIDE THREATS OR INSULTING YOURSELF!!! (Yeah, that's manipulation if you wanted to know. Do it and I'll change the subject.) Also, don't bring up your anger at any other person, don't say things about anyone else (including Jessica), and please don't bring up Jessica in the conversation whatsoever, okay? Oh, and as for you, Caitlin, I don't remember your e-mail, so e-mail me and we'll talk about it on MSN messenger. I believe everything that Lizzi says, but I keep forgetting that she's not always right (although she usually is).
Well, we'll be back to normal posts on this Xanga!!! If only you'd post like that when I had a normal post! TWENTY-SEVEN COMMENTS!!! That was good.
Entry 2:I'm really happy, but I'm aslo kind of scared.
Lizzi's too forgiving.
I can only ask her, but even then, how can I pursue something like this? There's absolutely no way I can do what I need to do. I don't know if Jess will ever change, but is what she did worth not talking to her ever again? Should she just leave and never find out if she will? Even as I ask these questions, I know the answer is yes. Dear God, I hope I'm making the right decision.
I just hit a blank on what I was going to post. Here's my final post on this crap. I want you to know that had this not been about Lizzi, I would have been content with a few e-mails or maybe one post on this Xanga assuming I left Jess at all.
But Jess, if you do anything else to hurt her, I will hurt you in the most extreme way possible that I can legally do from the United States of America. Alright?
Lizzi trusts me more than anyone. That puts me in a position that I'm very much afraid of, but at the same time, it makes me happier than I've ever felt before.
(may I add, Lizzi has told me she would always choose me over a guy. That makes paul a liar now, does it?)So now we wait. What will Lizzi say?
I LOVE YOU 10:44 AM
